The Korea Times: 1st In The Nation, or Korea’s Answer to World Weekly News

If your new to this terrible blog or your like me and work here, I am on Winter Vacation here in Korea and have an ungodly amount of time to peruse the interweb looking for something to do while people around me actually ‘appear’ to be working. Most people would love to have a job were you sit on your duff and stare at the magic porn box to find something that will save them from shoving their government issued box cutter into their eye. But not me, I would love to put my education to use. Give me something to do.

Government Issued Implement of Death

Since my co-teacher is heading for what I hope are bigger and better things I decided to see what Korea’s “best” newspaper had to inform its reading public.  The Korea Times had four noteworthy articles for the day. The first was that Lee Sang-hwa shocked the world by winning the gold in women’s speed skating. Congratulations now go where ever you went for the last four years before the Olympics were held. Last I checked no one watched speed skating. Unless the Olympics are being held I never see ESPN broadcasting speed skating, not even on ESPN Classics. While I suppose I am happy an underdog won the gold medal from a country I am currently working in, I have to say it’s really not all that exciting as no one watches speed skating. It’s like winning a marathon but you were the only one competing.  If you want to read the article it is

Somebody from Korea who won a Gold Medal in Perfectly Toasted Toast or something or other.

The next article that was highlighted was that Japan and Korea are fighting over the name of the small body of water that separates the two countries. On most English maps it is called the Sea of Japan. Japan of course likes this name. In Korea it is called the East Sea, which is correct in that it is in the East and a sea. In the end, no one cares but these two countries. In America we have the Gulf of Mexico, we don’t complain about the name of the Gulf. Why? We just don’t care. It’s a body of water, most Americans are happy when they can find it on a map. If they can find it they have won the battle. Since neither country can come to an amicable compromise I think they should just rename it to something completely different. How about the Sea of China or Asian Sea? At least if you name it Sea of China it will be one less thing we have to change when China takes the area over in 2025. If we change it to Asian Sea than Americans have a 50/50 chance of finding it in on a Social Studies test. All they have to look for is large country called Asia and they are halfway there (HINT: its in big bold black lettering). The article is

Let's Rename it Sea of Tranquility

The next article was a dead horse. Korean newspapers spend more ink and paper letting its citizens and visitors know about the amazing benefits of Korean food. So it was no surprise that the paper had another article defending the healthy food choice known as bibimbap.  Every morsel of Korean food that has been put in front of me is the healthiest food anyone could eat. I call BS but not to their faces. I have had this virtuous delicacy and I found it lacking. It’s some rice, some cooked vegetables (see seaweed), and an egg on top. apparently a few foreigners doubted the claims of the health benefits of Bibimbap and a few Koreans got their panties in an uproar. If I had the thick skin of some of the Korean defenders I would be in a fight on a daily basis. I admit I could lose a few pounds, and thanks to their healthy food I have (by not eating it), but I get tired of strangers informing me that I am fat when the Korean next to me is twice my weight. I have thick skin and this does not effect me. I laugh when I hear waegook. I call myself a Yankee-nom with pride. All I am saying is that if Korean food is so beneficial, why are there so many foreign restaurants? Anyway, the article is

Korea's Healthiest Dish

The final article that SHOULD have been front page news with shiny bedazzled lights was that the Norks or North Koreans may have up to 18 nuclear warheads by 2019. I would think that South Korea’s national security would be a major concern. That isn’t the case. I guess I should not be surprised that it is not the biggest news here. I know that I feel completely secure while that crazy woman with over-sized glasses is running around watching Sex and the City. However, I would think that it would at least be bigger news. You can read the article

The Crazy Woman that Runs North Korea

There was another article on the fact that North Koreans are shorter and weigh less than their South Korean counterparts but I don’t really call that news because everyone knows that no one eats in North Korea so I found that to be obvious.


About Ty

Living in Korea and traveling the world.
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